Live! With Kelly

Thursday, April 27th, 2017

Announcer: It's

"Live with kelly!" Today, from the comedy "superstore," america ferrera. And she plays abby on the hit drama "scandal," darby stanchfield. Plus, actor and playwright john leguizamo is back at the cohost desk.

All next on "live!"

[Cheers and applause]

And now, here are kelly ripa and john leguizamo!

[Cheers and applause]

[Cheers and applause]

Kelly: Hi.

[Cheers and applause]

Hello. Hello, hi, hi. Okay, guys, happy thursday, john leguizamo is back.


That's so funny, how we were just talking backstage. This skirt is old, old, old. And I think the dry cleaner it.


As we started dancing I realized I can't move my legs at all. No leg movement.

John: I felt like I was going to burst.

Kelly: There is something going on. I think it is a drycleaner.

John: The costume started taking in, she kept thinking she was gaining weight. She was flipping out, but she was mean, she was evil.

Kelly: Do you know what actress it was?

John: Of course I know who it was. What can I name it? No. Why would I make it up? What am I, a liar? Do I need to take a lie detector test?

Kelly: I remember we had the opposite, we had a woman on "all my children," she just changed the entire emotional level of the actor. She is such a good actress she made everybody want to be a good actress, she was so sweet and funny, but she only wore hospital scrubs, her character was always in hospital scrubs.

Look at them, they get to wear gucci and here I am in scrubs. So the seamstress would sew gucci labels into it. Oh, these are better. Very funny.

John: That is a sweet story story.

Kelly: We will edit that out. No big deal. So, how was your night?

John: One show last night, mom was there again. Her 20th show, I have only been open 21 days. I'm kidding, but she's there a lot. I say don't sit close to me, I hear you laugh an inappropriate stuff and it is really weird.

Kelly: It is weird when you hear your parents laughing.

John: I am doing these vile things, really inappropriate, and she's laughing. It kills it for me. Go to the back, go to where I'm not looking. If you come that often, you make me uncomfortable.

Kelly: Do any other family members show up?

John: My daughter came once, my son came once.

Kelly: Was it tough to perform in front of your son?

John: I was tripping on it, I got very emotional, too emotional, so that was tough.

Kelly: I bet. You are so talented, you're just so talented, that's it.

John: Thanks.


Come on. You have with, you are sharp.

Kelly: Anybody born with a mouth can do what I do.

John: Hey, hey, I love that mouth.

Kelly: I don't know about you, but when I was pregnant, and I have to really think back deep into the deep part of my brain back to when I was pregnant.

John: Natures way of blocking it.

Kelly: Literally they hand you a baby and your mind erases. But I remember, we tried everything to induce labor. We tried everything. The walking, the you know what.

John: That doesn't work, by the way, but it's fun.

Kelly: For the guy. Are you sure?

John: It's professional, they say it and all the newscast.

Kelly: The spicy eggplant in brooklyn, we had to go for the spicy eggplant. Now they are saying this is a guarantee for any women in the charlotte, north carolina, area.

They say there is this place called hawthorne pizza and barn in charlotte that is special buffalo chicken and mozzarella cheese pizza or "the inducer" to induce labor.

They say the mom's head straight to the delivery room after eating this pizza. So if you're in the charlotte area and wondering when is this baby coming.

After you have this pizza.

John: How many women can you fit in there? Three pregnant women?

Kelly: I don't know what it induces if you are not pregnant, very good point.

John: When you have to get in shape and everything, do you stretch out before you warm up and everything?

Kelly: I do stretch.

John: So does this man who was going to rob a store and began warming up before he robbed the store.

Kelly: That is funny.

Gelman: A security video.

John: That is a smart robber. He also doesn't expect it to work out, so he is preparing to run.

Kelly: That is a funny video. Do you know if he actually robbed it?

John: He robbed the store and got away, right? They cut it off, okay.

Kelly: Do we applaud that? I don't know.

John: Walked away with $334. 5'10".

Kelly: Nobody got hurt, so we applaud that.

John: He warmed up.

Kelly: And he didn't pull a groin.

John: No hammy's.

Kelly: We are always worried about a groin pull, aren't we?

John: The worst.

Kelly: Especially after they sign hundred million dollar contracts, the groin pull almost happens at the signing. Anyway.

John: It is the worst, though. You can't do anything with a groin pull.

Kelly: How often do you train? Do you train every day?

John: Training, you mean exercise?

Kelly: Yes.


John: Not recently. And by not recently, I mean a couple months.

Kelly: I got injured, I broke my foot, and --

John: Training?

Kelly: I tripped over a weight. A really sexy story. I was so coordinated I tripped over a weight on the floor. What is that weight doing in this gym?

Once you break something, you are so afraid of breaking something again, you train with the heart of a chicken. I trained with fear, I don't train like I used to.

I take dance because every day so I would leave it all on the dance floor. Now I'm like what is that, is that a shadow?

John: You do get scared somebody will hurt you like your trainer. That is why I don't train.

Kelly: Exactly.

John: Because I'm so fearful.

Kelly: My trainer trained me until she was nine months pregnant.

John: What a piece.

Kelly: It was crazy because I would be like I'm so tired and she would be like really? You are tired? I'm wearing a person.

John: Should have given her some inducing pizza.

Kelly: I know, should have.

John: Do you have candy around the house?

Kelly: Mark can make anything out of anything.

John: I used to be pretty decent, now I make money and stop be able to fix anything, hire people.

Kelly: That is the thing, mark can actually do it.

John: I can train the boiler, that is about it now.

Kelly: I've never seen anything like it, his father is the same way. That is a generational thing.

John: 60% of contractors so they're often called to fix home owners who do it themselve themselves. Those have failed attempts. Oh, this looks messy.

Kelly: Mark is not going to renovate the bathroom, but if something breaks like a pipe or something, he knows how to fix it. V2 he is not going to redo the house?

Kelly: No, he is not going to do that. That's foolish.

John: You are in denial of something, I don't know.

Kelly: My father in law does this too. Stuff that I ignore, the door on the cabinet closes but it is not closed entirely right, I just ignore it, but they fix it and they will fix it with like a toothpick.

A toothpick? "Well, you see, kelly, what you do is you break off the toothpick here and you jam it in here and even of the hinge a little bit and when it gets worn down you just have to put a toothpick in it."

John: And it works?

Kelly: It works. I tell them they need a handyman.

John: Should I get there number? Are they available?

Kelly: It is kind of amazing.

John: I admire that skill.

Kelly: New jersey is doing something I find kind of amazing, and I'm a little angry about because I went through my entire educational system in the new jersey public school system, and now they've decided that it's time to start school later.

John: What?

Kelly: They decided teenagers need more sleep. Yes, that's why I was chronically late. Remember? I was like no, I need more sleep, it's too early. Now they've decided it's too early, so they're saying 86% of schools starting before

8:30 A.m., they usually start at

8:00 A.m., and the deep sleep cycles where schools start two hours later they have greater academic success.

John: Trying to get a teenager to wake up, that is a hard thing. They don't have the frontal lobe, the part of the brain that makes rational executive function doesn't work as a teenager.

Kelly: I don't think we ever had breakfast because we were so late, and they say breakfast is the most important thing.

John: That is like an adult thing.

Kelly: Do I want to dry my hair or do I want to eat?

John: I would rather eat. Eating is my thing.

Kelly: This was when I was a teenager when that mattered. There was a time when it mattered.

John: All the time, I don't have time dad, I'm really late. I say have a little food, little breakfast. No, I'm okay. I don't need food until lunch.

Kelly: Your daughter sounds like my daughter, they could talk to each other.

John: I thought I was going deaf. Couldn't even hear them. I'm going what? You need subtitles, I can't hear you, teenager subtitles.

Kelly: She will, in the morning and be like mom, do you have any shirts that are good? Do I have any shirts that are good? All of my shirts are good, that's why you aren't borrowing any of them.


John: And you have to put something over them like a skirt or a pair of pants. "Dad, be quiet, I'm trying to go to school." We have the same daughter.

Kelly: They should be friends. "I know his daughter, where friends and instagram." Did you just say instagram? Do you need to see a doctor?

John: I feel like I am at home. Did you know there is a pigeons problem at queens? I am from queens, that's why I bring it up.


Queens, queens. They are now hiring big birds to scare them away because the noises they make. I am not talking about hawks, you would think it would be a hawk.

Kelly: Like a bald eagle?

John: I misunderstood.

Kelly: You mean like audiotapes like books on tape?

John: In the beginning of the venetian era... No, . Wow, that would scare me. I would pack my bags and go.

Kelly: What does it look like?

Gelman: Big, colorful parrot.

Kelly: My uncle has a bird, it talks, and it talks, doesn't just talk, talks like him, it

Says things. It says things I can't believe that I can say it on the air. You are literally like oh, my gosh, says how he talks when we are not here?

John: How to turn him in, he is a leak.

Kelly: It's crazy, crazy. Listen, I wanted to give you guys a heads up because mark and me and our friend over there on said who hates what I put the camera on him but we're going to put the camera on him anyway because it's so fun.

John: He's running away now.

Kelly: Don't move, our show premiering tonight at 8:00 P.m. On logo called "fire island," a group of gentlemen who have a firehouse on long island and it is the most fun show.

I'm going to show a clip from tonight's episode, is that okay?

>> Today is the day we are actually going out to the island.

♪ I am super excited.

>> Are you ready?

>> I'm always ready.

>> You get on the ferry, standing on the top, the wind is blowing. All smiles, you see the island in the distance. Like a sign that magic starts now.

Kelly: His son, by the way, he's a dancer. The guy they just showed, throughout the show he wears all of these hats, so people are making these memes of him with bigger and bigger hats.

I saw one where it is just a hat on a body. That's tonight if you guys are in the mood. On today's show a good friend of ours, america ferrera is here.

She's no joke.

John: In water, 25 miles on a bike.

Kelly: I could handle the running part.

John: I'm from new york, I don't run anywhere.

Kelly: I can run, but the swimming.

John: In the ocean, not just a pool.

Kelly: In an ocean, the hawaii ocean.

John: You are food for sharks, basically.

Kelly: And I'm the person that could drown in standing water where they are like we don't know why she didn't just stand up.


The water was waist deep and somehow felt like she had no choice. That's what kind of swimmer I a am. It is not for me. And abby from "scandal" is here, darby stanchfield.

It is okay, you will get glasses and contacts. It's time for "burst into spring travel trivia!"

[Cheers and applause]

Kelly: Oh, yeah. That was good, I like the mc hammer action. From dallas, texas.


Do I have confetti in my hair? Oh, you have confetti in your hair.

John: My hair catches everything.

Kelly: Let's say hello to our caller. Hey, peg.

Caller: Hey.

John: How are you?

Caller: Great.

Kelly: Where are you in this picture? At a baseball game?

Caller: Yes, a cleveland indians game.

[Cheers and applause]

John: Cleveland in the house.

Kelly: Your people are here. Do you have big plans this weekend?

Caller: Probably going to a baseball game. My grandsons, four of them play baseball.

John: A whole team you've got there.

Kelly: You will go to their games? Do they have dreams of turning pro?

Caller: Know. We have dreams of them turning pro.


Kelly: Okay. We are going to spin the wheel to see what you are playing for.

♪ Here is a great prize. Tanque verde ranch. Seven days, six nights, all-inclusive, it includes all. This trip is provided in part by, a prize valued $6500.

You have 20 seconds and only one guess. Peg, good luck.

John: And yesterday's show we talked with molly ringwald. What popular television series did molly say her to come most recent tv husbands both appeared on?

Caller: "90210" ."

Announcer: Congratulations! You and a guest will enjoy seven days and six nights at tanque verde ranch located in tucson, arizona. Experience luxurious accommodations, authentic

Dining, unparalleled amenities, and an abundance of activities including horseback riding, tennis, swimming, and more. Tanque verde ranch is a once-in-a-lifetime experience that can be enjoyed by all.

Your prize is valued at approximately $6,500.

[Cheering and applauding]

Kelly: Peg, congratulations. Now you can help make the day of a lucky member of our studio audience who will receive a $500 $500 appliance packm cuisinart.

Please pick a number between 1-210.

Caller: I am going to say 27.

Kelly: 27!

John: Yeah!

Kelly: All right, we have a big show with america ferrera. Stick around!

Announcer: Still ahead on "live," abby from "scandal," darby stanchfield. And we will open up kelly's inbox to hear your comments and questions. Coming up next, america ferrera!


[Cheers and applause]

Kelly: That is really cool. Always have very interesting people in our audience, there is a lady in the upper deck whose daughter is auditioning for the rockettes.

John: Good luck with that.

Kelly: Yes, good luck. We don't say break a leg, right? You don't say that, you say good luck, good luck. Dance well, kick high. Tomorrow's show from "ncis: Los angeles," ll cool J.

John: And lea michele will perform.

Kelly: She's an award winning actress and producer, now she stars as the manager of a megastore on the hit comedy series "superstore." Please welcome back to the show america ferrera!

[Cheers and applause]

America: Hi.

John: How are you?

America: Thank you. Hello, hello.

Kelly: I love your hair. We were talking about it earlier in this show how you just completed your second triathlon.

America: I did, yeah.

Kelly: Oh, there you are.

America: He dyed his hair blonde because we reached our fundraising goal, he looks so crazy. And that is my sister, I got her to do her first triathlon.

She did better than me.

John: That's wrong. She should let you win.

Kelly: Tell me about the not-drowning. How do you not drown?

America: Most of us know how to not drown in a pool, we had to learn to swim in the open water ocean where there are live things.

John: Sharks.

Kelly: Did you see a shark?

America: No, I did not. That would be it. In hawaii the water is so clear, we saw families of turtles in the coral, it was so beautiful. A very welcomed distraction to a very long, open water swim.

But it was beautiful. It is a mile in the ocean.

John: Is it like half a mile, oh, god, just half a mile left?

America: I find myself singing the dory song.

♪ Just keep swimming♪

Kelly: Do you flip over on your back and do the back crawl?

America: You can do whatever you want.

Kelly: Can you hold on to another person?

America: No, I think that is against the rules.

John: How about hold onto a rope with a fast boat?

America: That is a different sport altogether.

Kelly: How long did it take you to train for something like that? When I saw you, you were training in august.

America: I started five months out because I had to learn to swim, most people really don't know how to do.

John: Stroke and turn your head to breathe.

America: Yes, that is good form, stroke and breeze. That is good.

John: I always mess it up, I start breathing as I go down. The doggy paddle.

Kelly: Can you do that?

America: That is legal. That would be exhausting for a whole mile.

Kelly: So, did you hire a trainer, a swimming coach?

America: They are connected to the leukemia and lymphoma society. It is incredible, so many of our teammates were cancer survivors.


John: Very inspiring.

America: It is very inspiring, and it completely shifts your perspective because you go from like "why am I punishing myself, this hurts so bad" to like "if they can do it, I am so grateful my body is strong and healthy and I have the ability to do it." It is really to shift your perspective.

Kelly: Listen, we have to take a commercial break. When we come back we will talk about "superstore." Stick around.

Announcer: Still ahead on "live," from "scandal," darby stanchfield.

>> You're always having connections with people, one of the many, many annoying things about you.

>> So, is not that you are super jealous and in love with me and want me all to yourself?

>> Okay, first of all, ew. Second of all, this is strictly about christian being your boss'. Third of all, ew.



Kelly: America ferrera in "superstore" ." Third season already. That's amazing.

John: That's crazy.


America: Yeah, we have two more episodes left this season. Tonight is the wedding episode, the big wedding, really great episode, and our last season finale is next week, it is called "tornado," so you figure it out.

That is not the one I directed, I did direct an episode this season.

John: Behind the camera is so sexy.

America: We hope to make it a more common occurrence.

Kelly: Do you think you will do more?

America: Yes, I will do another one in the next season, and I just loved it, we need to get more women behind the camera.


Kelly: Of course, this is a workplace comedy, right? You play a manager of one of these megastores like a walmart or kmart or something.

America: It is the perfect environment, a cross-section of all-america. Consumer america, working america, my parents are immigrants and I was working class my whole life, that is who we are.


And, you know, I came up watching shows like "good vibes," "roseanne," being average american working class, there was value and there was something proud full of it.

And I think we've lost a little bit of that on television, so I was so excited to get to be a part of the show that really values the lives of working-class people with humor and intelligence.

Our writers are just fabulous, I'm so proud of them.

Kelly: "Superstore" airs tonight at 8:30 on nbc. Check out "superstore" starring america ferrera. We will be right back with darby stanchfield, stick around.

>> I keep the legacies of america float, which means I keep the world afloat, she can imagine why my shortcomings run pretty low on the things that run on in my brain.

>> Whatever I did, I'm sorry. I swear.

>> It's not about you!

John: That's like my marriage. That's like every night at home.

Kelly: That was a scene from john's marriage.

John: Thank you. I'm sorry. I'm always wrong, I'm always saying "I'm sorry."

Kelly: That's funny. She plays white house chief of staff abby on abc's hit show "scandal," please welcome darby stanchfield!

Kelly: Hello.

Darby: Good to see you.

Kelly: I like your outfit, so cute. Tell us everything, tell us all the secrets.

Darby: I love that you asked me the one thing I can't say.

Kelly: I ask because it is a joke. Oh, how does it end?

Darby: Do you want to know now?

Kelly: No, tell me later.

Darby: I will tell you now, are you ready? I could totally get in trouble for it, on the edge of your chair? Abby has a new job at the end of the season.

I truly might get in trouble for that, so, enjoy.

Kelly: Come on, they're nice.

Darby: Very, very, very exciting season finale that will be in a month because, you know, there is sort of a changing of the guards and everybody shifts around.

I can't wait for you to see it.

Kelly: Now, listen, you live in california, you grew up in alaska, right? But you live in california. Coming to sunny california. They tell me you have fruit trees?

Darby: I do.

Kelly: I want to move to california to have a tree in the yard.

John: Do you eat them?

Darby: Yes, mostly in the salads.

John: I get them in gift baskets mostly.

Kelly: What do I do with this. You can make a monologue with kumquats. I do.

John: Okay. I stand corrected.

Kelly: None of them are particularly useful.

Darby: The most beautiful tree, the sweetest oranges on the planet. The smell of the orange blossom blossoms.

Kelly: When we went to the house last summer in california my husband was working out there, there is so much fruit, people let it fall in their driveway and I was trying to steal the fruit.

What else do you have?

John: Two lemon trees. A little sweeter, so I like to use them.

Kelly: Some nice lemonade.

Darby: And two regular larger lemon trees. Don't you want to be me?

Kelly: I do, I want to be you.

John: We don't have that in new york. I have some weeds in my backyard.

Darby: >> Kelly: >>

Kelly: You know what I have? I have a rosemary bush.

Darby: And then you forget to water it. So I brought you a gift.

Kelly: You did?

Darby: I did.

Kelly: Is that it right there?

Darby: This is it. These are from my orange tree. Have a taste. They are really, really juicy so there is a napkin here too. Very juicy, right?

Kelly: Oh, my gosh, it tastes like an orange!


John: Who am I, who am I?

Kelly: The godfather.

Darby: And me every sunday.

Kelly: You guys, it's heaven.

Darby: I thought I could lure you to come visit me.

Kelly: You will never get rid of me, I will be in your backyard.

John: We will squat your house and take over.

Kelly: "Who is that strange old man in your backyard"? "That's kelly ripa." Thank you for that, that's grea great. I have not had an orange that has tasted like an orange for at least 15 years.

Darby: That is the other thing, it is all organic.

John: Look at you.

Darby: Natural.

John: That is the real deal. She knows what she is doing.

Kelly: I don't even know what you said.

John: But it sounds organic.

Kelly: It sounds natural and organic. I also understand you are not just a food rower, you are a fisherman. I like to fish too. We should be best friends.

Darby: We should be.

Kelly: I love to fish.

Darby: We really should be best friends.

John: You are twinning.

Kelly: Where did you fish? You grew up in alaska.

Darby: The first fish I caught was in fourth grade. That was me last summer catching a red king.

John: Red king salmon?

Darby: Yes, red king salmon. We caught white and red king salmon and halibut.

Kelly: Just for the halibut.


John: Still got it.

Kelly: Still want to take me fishing? Know, but you took your husband. Were you competitive with each other?

Darby: He was like no, you go ahead and shine. He was great fishing, but my dad and I are the competitive. I went with my husband and parents, we catered a boat for two days.

We were out for about eight hours a day, caught a ton of fish.

Kelly: How many?

Darby: 700 pounds.

John: That's a lot of fish.

Kelly: You keep them on the boat?

Darby: Here's the deal, a lot of times when you go to alaska for sport fishing, you take it to a small processing plant and they will fly it for you and freeze it, they will put it in shrink wrap and freeze it, so we took home boxes like freezer packs and put it in our freezer.

With 700 pounds of fish, take away the heads and stuff, it is about 100 pounds of fish.

Kelly: Are you having fresh fish every day?

Darby: Tomorrow night!

John: With fresh lemon. Who won, your dad or you?

Darby: You know what, he let me win this time.

John: Come on.

Darby: I was a little touched, though.

Kelly: Listen, we have to take a commercial break. But we are going to play a game with you when we come back, okay? It involves fishing. Stick around.

Announcer: If you think "live with kelly" is fun to watch at home, come see it in person. You never know what will happen, so come join us and don't miss out on all the fun.

Visit our website, get your tickets now.


Kelly: We are back with root farmer and avid fisherman darby stanchfield.

Darby: Hi.

Kelly: We are going to play game right now called "fish or dare." So, here's the game, right? It is kind of like truth or dare, if you want a truth, you have to fish for it, right?

With these magnetic poles. If you want a dare come have to take a lid off of a plate and eat it.

John: Even if it is not edible?

Gelman: It's edible.

John: All right.

Kelly: Darby, you go first. "Fish or dare"?

Darby: I'm not going to play it safe, I'm going to take a dare. I'm so scared. Do I eat it or do I make one of you eat it?

Kelly: You eat it.

Darby: I haven't had breakfast, this could be bad. Any of them? Oh, my god, no. Okay, I can do this.

John: The congealed fish jelly. Yeah, yeah. I would have done that.

Kelly: I'm like truth now that I know what's under there.

John: You got it.

Kelly: What is my biggest turn off?

John: The fish, obviously.

Kelly: Bad smells. Bad smells.

John: I'm going to go for a dare because I like this stuff. Can I take her dare? I will eat it, but it's not my favorite thing to eat. Anchovies. Like pizza, you go like this.

Darby: We are smelling up the studio.

Kelly: Oh, I can't do it.

Kelly: Thank god we are out of time. Don't forget to catch "scandal" tonight at 9:00 P.m. On abc. You are a great sport.

Darby: Thank you.

Kelly: We will open up the inbox when we return.

Announcer: Tomorrow on "live," a performance by lea michele.


John: I think those anchovies were from the mayflower.

Kelly: I think they're inducing labor right now. Says "castor oil worked on two of my children. I immediately went into labor by taking a shot of it and chasing it with orange juice." I did castor oil and that did not happen.

It induced other things, but not that.

John: Matthew from brooklyn, new york, "if they make school an hour later, kids will go to school an hour later and still will not want to get up in the morning." That is very logical of matthew.

Kelly: Good point. Jane in georgia says "there is italian restaurant here in georgia that has an eggplant parmesan with the same promise. They even have a wall of baby pictures of babies born within 48 hours of the mothers who had the eggplant.

My daughter was born about 20 hours after I had it."

John: That is pretty intrusive. "Here in ottawa we have a restaurant that gives pregnant women a free large scoop of the labor inducing gelato. Cinnamon chocolate and chili.

I don't know of there is a coincidence but I gave birth to my daughter a day after eating it."

Kelly: I think everybody has one thing in common, they were probably nine months pregnant.

John: Yeah, yeah.

Announcer: If you would like to know more about anything you see on "live," logon to Nd um


Kelly: Hey, guess what, guess what everybody. I'm talking live. Said -- he thinks I'm the crazy

>> Here she is now, ellen degeneres.

[Cheers and applause]

Ellen: Thank you very much. Thank you so much. Appreciate it. Thank you. Thanks a lot. Thanks so much. Have a seat. Thank you so much. That's how I feel about you.

[Cheers and applause]

Have a seat, everybody. I appreciate it so very much. Back at you and all that stuff. Anybody from new york here?

[Cheers and applause]

That's right. I forgot. I completely forgot, we flew an entire audience from

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